Funeral arrangements are complicated. They are also incredibly difficult to work out on your own. That’s why you need to make sure that you and your senior talk about what she wants for her funeral. The best way to do this is as frankly and openly as you possibly can.
Does She Have a Preference for Her Remains?
You may want to get specific with your questions, even though that can be difficult at first. For instance, if you ask your senior how she wants to be buried, she might not have a solid answer because it’s a very open-ended question. But if you ask specifically whether she wants to be cremated or buried, that can help her to choose.
Does She Want to Wear Something in Particular?
Some people have very strong ideas about the clothing that they want to wear at their funeral or while they’re buried. It’s important to remember to specifically ask this so that you can prepare. If your elderly family member truly has no preference on clothing, you at least can check this off the list.
What Kind of Service Does Your Senior Want?
You also need to know what kind of service your senior wants. She might want only a visitation, without her casket or ashes present. She might want a full service with a sermon. You also need to know whether she has a preference for the mood of the event. Some people want their funeral to be solemn while others want family members to be happy and to celebrate life in all its forms.
What Does She Want To be Said at Her Service?
Does your family member have a favorite scripture or poem that she’d like to have read at her funeral service? If you don’t ask, you may miss an opportunity to include something that means a great deal to her. Her funeral service can be the last opportunity that your senior may feel she has a chance to share a message with the people that she loves.
Are There Any Other Preferences She Has?
Your family member might have any number of other preferences, such as specific flowers or a marker for her final resting place. If you don’t ask, she may not remember to actually list out those preferences to you.
If you and your aging family member are having a difficult time talking about these important questions, it might be time to reach out for extra help. End-of-life care providers can help you to find the resources that you need in order to make sure you’re meeting your senior’s needs and wants during this stage of her life.